Goals

Last night I had Bunco. It is very low key and just more of a fun ladies night than anything else. It's always very refreshing to get out of the house even just for an hour and be a grown up. I love my children, I love that for the most part I am home with them, but I think for me to give myself to them 100% I need to take care of myself as well. It's nice to get out and visit with everyone but I feel even better when I get home. It's that little boost I need and that little time away so when I come home and see those beautiful smiling faces I truly appreciate them.
I do have classes and get away for school but for me it's not the same. School is stressful and it's my "job" right now. I do enjoy it for the most part. I love learning new things, I love reading, I love the knowledge portion of it. The stress and the tests I could do without. I have been in school for what feels like forever. I am in no way a traditional student. Lately I have been seeing all of the time and money I have put into this and not having an end in sight is just really getting to me. I feel like I will never be done and be able to move on to the next chapter in my life. I know that's not true but that's how I feel about it right now.
Last night being Bunco in itself was good for me but it was also good for me because one of our girls couldn't make it and the substitute was just the person I needed to meet. She is the director of the flight team at the major hospital here. She was a flight nurse for I think she said 8 or 9 years. That is my ultimate dream job! I don't care if I just make one flight as long as I do it once in my lifetime. Just talking with her reminded me that this is just a brief moment in the grand scheme of things. I will have my time to be a nurse and possibly a flight nurse, and most of all I was reminded that all of this stress, time, money, sacrificing, and all of the other fun things that come with being a mom and going to school, is worth it. There is something wonderful at the end. My goal is reachable. I think it's hard for me to remember that because it's so far off (it seems) and all the people I talk to about it are either in my same boat or in the nursing program with all of that additional stress and time and it's really easy to see the negative and get down. It's really easy to think this will last forever and it's too hard and I can't do it.
So today I look forward to the application process, the nursing programs, the time away from my family, the all night study parties because what I want is at the other end and I will be better because of it.