Physiology

I have 10 hours of these videos to watch by Friday. Try to contain your jealousy. While watching videos last night my dear husband was listening and turned to me and said "Seriously, what do doctors know that nurses don't. It sounds like you have to know more about these reactions and physiology of the body than they do." Yep, pretty much sums it up.

Breathe!

I keep thinking life is going to get easier. I'm going to get more organized. I'm going to fit all the things into one day that I want to accomplish.
My list
Blog More
Study More
Sew More
Scrapbook More
Spend more time with the kids
Craft More
Clean More
Organize More
Dejunk More
Exercise More
Play More
Eat Better (aka NOT more HA!)

This semester in school I am taking 18 credits (!!!! insert scream here, I know WHAT was I thinking!) and surprisingly it's going better than I could have ever imagined. Don't get me wrong it's still crazy especially since one of those 3 credit classes that is supposed to be over a 16 week semester I am taking in a "speed course" so it's done in 8 weeks. It is SO much information and work in a short 8 weeks. I'm just trying to stay afloat in the rest of my courses and will play major catch up when I take my final for this class next week.
It has been quite the balancing act, school and family. My trick, everything else, and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING has been put on the back burner. I quit all my extracurricular activities (as a mom there weren't very many). I wanted my "extra" time to be good quality time with my family. If I'm not at school I am home with them. When I am home I am home and PRESENT. This has been really good for me, not so good for my blog, facebook, message boards. When I walk in the door after class I am home. My phone gets put on the counter, the laptop gets docked and I am a mom. We play games, we dress up, we color or do art, we go on walks to look for as many different rocks as we can find, it's been fabulous! After I tuck my little ones in bed (on the nights I don't have class) I spend some time talking and catching up with my wonderful supportive hubby and then it's off to study I go. I only have class two nights a week and my class starts at bedtime so I still get to have dinner, do homework and bath time with my kids. Dad gets to do bedtime stories and prayers those nights. The rest of my classes are online (except for my one that ends next week).
So while I have a huge list of things I would LIKE to be doing I know for right now I'm doing what I SHOULD be. So while I have the cutest stack of fabric sitting in a pile in my dining room ready for my next 3 quilts it will have to wait.
(This is where I would add in a cute picture of my three beautiful kids that I do this for or of the super cute fabric I just talked about but I'm blogging from my NEW laptop my sweet hubby bought for me for school and I don't have our camera software on here yet to upload pictures so I'll have to add those another day!)
PS Stay Tuned for baby's first birthday posts. The planning of this party started before she was born. I'm a little excited to have a October birthday in our little family. I figure I can either cry about my baby turning one or I can embrace it. I'll probably do a little of both ;)

Writers Block

Why is it when you have an important paper to write or have to say something your mind goes into shutdown, sleep mode. I have a 6 page paper to write for one of my classes that is due tomorrow. We have had the assignment for two weeks now and I'll just tell you I don't have much done on it. I am a big time procrastinator when it comes to papers. I just can't do it until I HAVE to. I work better under pressure I guess. I think the added difficulty to this paper has been that there is not an assigned topic. You would think that would be easier but for me it isn't. I do much better if someone just tells me what to write about. It's so hard to pick something from such a broad range of anything. Am I the only person that feels this way. Give me a blog and I can type your ear off. Tell me to write a paper and all of a sudden one sentence takes me 4 days. Well I better get back to pretending to write my paper. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Goals

Last night I had Bunco. It is very low key and just more of a fun ladies night than anything else. It's always very refreshing to get out of the house even just for an hour and be a grown up. I love my children, I love that for the most part I am home with them, but I think for me to give myself to them 100% I need to take care of myself as well. It's nice to get out and visit with everyone but I feel even better when I get home. It's that little boost I need and that little time away so when I come home and see those beautiful smiling faces I truly appreciate them.
I do have classes and get away for school but for me it's not the same. School is stressful and it's my "job" right now. I do enjoy it for the most part. I love learning new things, I love reading, I love the knowledge portion of it. The stress and the tests I could do without. I have been in school for what feels like forever. I am in no way a traditional student. Lately I have been seeing all of the time and money I have put into this and not having an end in sight is just really getting to me. I feel like I will never be done and be able to move on to the next chapter in my life. I know that's not true but that's how I feel about it right now.
Last night being Bunco in itself was good for me but it was also good for me because one of our girls couldn't make it and the substitute was just the person I needed to meet. She is the director of the flight team at the major hospital here. She was a flight nurse for I think she said 8 or 9 years. That is my ultimate dream job! I don't care if I just make one flight as long as I do it once in my lifetime. Just talking with her reminded me that this is just a brief moment in the grand scheme of things. I will have my time to be a nurse and possibly a flight nurse, and most of all I was reminded that all of this stress, time, money, sacrificing, and all of the other fun things that come with being a mom and going to school, is worth it. There is something wonderful at the end. My goal is reachable. I think it's hard for me to remember that because it's so far off (it seems) and all the people I talk to about it are either in my same boat or in the nursing program with all of that additional stress and time and it's really easy to see the negative and get down. It's really easy to think this will last forever and it's too hard and I can't do it.
So today I look forward to the application process, the nursing programs, the time away from my family, the all night study parties because what I want is at the other end and I will be better because of it.